I finally had the chance to watch 'Mad Detective' and 'Blind Detective', both of which are by H.K. director Johnnie To. Watching these types of movies not only is for entertainment, but also is to aid in my 'research'. However, I must say, Mad Detective is too bleak for my taste and it's unlikely I will watch it again anytime soon. Blind Detective on the other hand is some light humored fun, of course focusing on the chemistry between Sammi Cheng (Ho) and Andy Lau (Johnston).
The scenes I love most were when Ho and Johnston were discussing his lost love --
Ho: "Maybe you will find a better woman."
Johnston: "Such exquisite beauty is hard to come by!"
Ho: "You're blind, can't see her anyway. Doesn't matter even if she looks like Susan."
Johnston: "I will loose face in front of friends!"
...Johnston's confession of love to Ho in the car:
J: "I suddenly realise... I like you"
H: "But I look like Susan!"
J: "I'm blind, who cares!"
H: "But you will loose face in front of friends?"
J: "I don't have friends anyway, except for that bastard Fabo..."
...and when Fabo and Johnston were outside the operation room:
F: "What's wrong with you?"
J: "I'm screwed...in my desperation I told her I like her..."
F: "She doesn't like you?"
J: "Fat chance, you don't know how much she likes me! She fell for me first"
F: "So what's the deal?"
J: "She looks like Susan...that masculine female cop with an Adam's apple!"
F: "So? You're blind."
J: "I thought so too! Then I realised, with the advancement of medicine I'll probably recover some day, then...how could I face her?!"
The reason I love these exchanges is not only because they are funny, but also Johnston tells the truth of most relationships -- to attract the opposite sex (in this case), you must look attractive to them. I know this seems like stating the obvious, but I've seen mainly Asian girls (or guys) failing to find love because they do not want to wake up to this simple and obvious fact.
From personal experiences and observing friends I've found that no-one is interested in looking beyond your appearance if your appearance doesn't attract them in the first place. You can of course dress down and use this to your advantage in the workplace but in most dating scenes that's a recipe for disaster. If a single heterosexual woman cannot display their heterosexuality or even look like she's interested in men from the outset then who's gonna know that she is single, interested, or even desperate to find someone?
I find this particularly true with one heterosexual friend. In the case of my friend, her physical appearance does unfortunately look like a small version of Susan. It also doesn't help her cause that her favourite outfits are soccer uniforms or anything that's as far removed from feminine as possible. In addition, although she is funny, kind, and honest, she is also quite straightforward; if she were more 'feminine', this personality would be of benefit, unfortunately she is not, so this only emphasises her 'masculinity'. To add oil to fire, she is Asian in an Asian country. I say this because based on my shallow observations, 'Westerner's seems to have a more liberal view in that regard; Asian guys on the other hand, are mostly quite fixated on their girlfriends' femininity and other people's opinions.
As a friend it is difficult to know where the boundary lie -- I've attempted to tell her as much as I can without offending. In addition, I don't want to insult a friend by being patronising: either by abruptly telling her what's fact of life or not; or thinking that she does not have the heart to handle this 'confrontation'.
This then, ends in facing my own demons (too eager to help, too eager to please).
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